is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
