yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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