I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
