Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
