i just had sex bonerless
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
