Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
did i walk over a car last night?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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