Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
