smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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