so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
