my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
