Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
