Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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