She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
