He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
