We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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