Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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