end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
