Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
