was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
