alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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