Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
