bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
