She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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