so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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