we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
