We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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