oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
