all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
