How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
