i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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