No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
