Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
