You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
