in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
