Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize