White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
