My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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