I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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