he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize