I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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