When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
