Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
