dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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