He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
