Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
