I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
