Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
