that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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