Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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