i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
