There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
