11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
More tranny stories later!
I can text with my tongue
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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