it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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