If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
