so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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