Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
