Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
