i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
