We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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