In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
