u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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