fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
