That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
