im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
