You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
