you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
