I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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