Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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