yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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