But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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